Someone Like Me [ShizuoxReader] Chapter 21

Chapter 21 – Their Aspirations

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2OqBJ…

“Wow. It’s May already?” you say to yourself after waking up and checking your phone for the time. It’s Sunday, so you decided to catch up on some sleep this morning. After getting out of bed you walk over to your calendar to change it. Upon flipping the page, you notice some writing on the 4^th.

“Oh yeah! Izaya’s birthday is coming up soon. I don’t have the faintest idea what to get him though.” You shift thoughts for a moment and decide to give Izaya a call.

“Hello there, (f/n).~ And what do I owe the honor of you calling me today?” he says playfully.

“Heheh. Morning, Izaya. I saw that your birthday is coming up and, if Mr. Matsuoka will let me, I wanted to take you out to lunch that day.”

“Oh! I get to be graced with your presence for my birthday? Well now, don’t I feel special.~ haha.”

You finish making plans with Izaya then hang up the phone. Afterward, you begin to plot what you’re going to give Izaya in just a few days, but get nowhere. “Oh, well. I’ll find something soon. Right now I have errands to run.” You grab some food and then head out the door to buy some groceries.

~~~~

Early this Monday morning, you speak with Mr. Matsuoka about Wednesday and he allows you to head out early as long as you work an extra hour today and tomorrow. With no further problems, you get right to work unpacking the last few boxes of new stock. Right now you are setting aside the items that have been pre-ordered out of a Code Geass shipment.* Halfway through the box, there is a layer of smaller boxes.

“Hmm? What’s this?” You say, sliding out a box to examine it. “Oh! It’s those Lelouch king chess pieces I heard about!”*

After setting aside all of the ones already claimed by pre-order, you find there is only three left of the limited edition shipment. “Oh, man. I would love to have one of these... Hey, wait! This would make a great gift for Izaya! I remember seeing that chess board in his apartment that had only a few pieces to it (And some other tiles and checker pieces for some reason).”

You then remember you don’t have any spare money to tap into after going grocery shopping, so you can’t buy two.

“I’d like to buy this chess piece for myself, but I think it would be better for Izaya. At least he’d use it.”

~~~~

www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5B_WB…

Wednesday rolls around. You tell Mr. Matsuoka thanks for letting you out early and head toward the café by the gallery where you used to work. Once again, sitting outside on the patio is Izaya waiting for you (At least this time you’re not scared out of your wits to see him).

“Hey there, Izaya!” you yell, waving at him as you approach with large bag in hand. He waves back with a big smile on his face. When you arrive you give Izaya a hug while he sits in his chair. “Happy birthday! It’s good to see you!”

“It’s very nice to see you as well, my dear.~ Hm? What’s in the bag? Something for me I hope?~”

“Hehe. You’ll see.” You reply, winking.

You sit down and have a nice lunch out with Izaya for about two hours. Realizing it might be wise to finally leave, you suggest relaxing in the park for a little while. Izaya agrees and you both walk over and find a nice quiet spot for just the two of you.

Once you settle down, you grab your bag and surprise Izaya with a cake you made him. Then, you give him his present. He doesn’t know Code Geass, but he loves the chess piece anyway.* Relaxing against the trees, you and Izaya carry on your conversation. But then, a few minutes later Izaya asks a peculiar question.

“Hey, (f/n)? I’d like to ask you... What have you done to Shizu-chan?”

You’re confused by the question, but also rather amused by it. “Hahaha. What do you mean? Shizuo should be the same. And what does it matter to you anyway? I thought you hated him? Hahahaha.”

Izaya gets a little irked by your comment, but brushes it off to go back to that playful tone of his. “Heh-heh. You’re right, I DO hate him.~ It just seems that lately…he doesn’t get angry at me like he used to. It’s getting rather boring. Nor have I even seen him smoking.”

“Oh, I see.” you begin to tease. “So because Shizuo isn’t getting mad at you like he used to, he’s not fun to play with anymore. Is that it? Huehuehue…”

Izaya shifts his glance and pauses because he realizes you’re not exactly wrong.

Your eyes squint cunningly toward Izaya. “Your stunned silence is very reassuring.* Hahaha. But as for smoking, he quit since we got together.” Your body shifts a little as you attempt to further the conversation. “But I’d like to ask you something Izaya: Why do you hate Shizuo so much?”

Izaya’s eyes begin to narrow as his anger rises. There are a few reasons why Izaya despises Shizuo, but ever since you came along, the main reason is because Shizuo has taken you away from him. Right now it’s the only thing Izaya can think of, but he would never tell you that. Therefore, Izaya struggles to recall other problems.

“Hmm... For one thing, he’s idiotic one minute and sharp as a tack the next. He’s rather clueless.”

Izaya was fairly right about that. Shizuo could be pretty oblivious at times, like when he saved you from the Yellow Scarves.

“Well, that is rather true. However, I don’t see how that’s much of a reason to hate him. Is there anything else?”

Izaya is becoming sick having to think about Shizuo; especially when all he can imagine is you being with his enemy. At his breaking point, he attempts to change the subject without snapping at you too harshly, “Is there anything else you want to get out of me today?”

You knew asking Izaya about Shizuo wouldn’t last, but you wanted to at least try. It’s not every day Izaya willingly chooses to talk about him. Now, however, Izaya has given you the opportunity to express what is truly on your mind.   

“Um, okay. I would like to ask you something. I hate to sound rude but...You really don’t have any friends, do you, Izaya?”

Izaya is taken aback by this question from you. He’s fairly uncertain what to tell you because no matter what he says, he knows you’d just catch him if he lied. In the end, Izaya ends up just lying to himself.

“Heh. For your information I do have friends. Lots of them.” He pauses to take a sip from the drink you brought him. “Like Shinra. I consider him a friend.”

“Well, I hate to burst your bubble Izaya, but honestly, I don’t think Shinra really considers you a friend.”

“Hmm. Is that so?” Izaya slowly runs his finger around the lid of the bottle, pondering. “You know (f/n), I’m curious... Why do you suddenly decide to ask me such a question? You want something from me, don’t you?” Izaya gives you a smirk, thinking he’s caught you.

I see I’ve struck another nerve… He’s changed the subject.

You sigh, looking down at the grass. “Actually Izaya... I want to ask you another question.”

“Mm? I suppose that’s acceptable... Go ahead.”

“Tell me... Have you ever felt left out? Or that you would like to be a part of something with other people?”

“Not really. Even if I did I would rather not.”

Liar… “Really? So in other words you mean to say that you never get lonely?”

“I don’t think so. No.”

He seems to be just lying to himself now. Even though you’re not fully aware of it, you are exactly right.

“You know, Izaya... You tell me you have friends, but... to be honest that’s hard for me to believe. Because everyone I know doesn’t like you, and a lot of them you know personally. It’s really hard for me to be friends with you; although I don’t mind putting in the effort because I care about you. However... Everyone I know hates you and that makes it difficult for me to spend time with all of my friends, including you. I have to take out extra time to be with you because everyone else can’t stand being around you. I feel like I’m living a double life and have to keep my friendship with you a secret. It almost feels like I’m having an affair against my own friends.”

Izaya sits beside you with an expression very hard to read. Countless emotions and thoughts are going through his head as he listens to you.

Izaya doesn’t say anything so you continue. “Izaya, I want to be able to do things with you and everyone else. I mean, it nearly killed me not being able to invite you to my Christmas party, but I couldn’t on account of who I was inviting. However, I still wanted to be with you, that’s why I went out of my way to visit.”

Izaya replies quietly, looking to the ground as if he was daydreaming. “Although I appreciate what you have done for me, I didn’t ask you to do it. I’ve been fine on my own all this time. Even if I don’t get to see you, it won’t matter. Leave for all I care.”

This reply takes you by surprise. You have no idea what to say, your thoughts are everywhere. Then you finally find a few words.

“Wait... What exactly are you talking about?”

Izaya turns and looks at you coldly. “It sounds to me that you don’t want to make a choice. You want to have it all.~ Me, along with everyone else, but that’s not going to happen. You’re just being greedy.~  If you really expect me to change to make everyone like me, then you really don’t know me at all.~ If you can’t accept that, so be it. I don’t really care.”

Izaya knew that one day, something like this might happen. You would make the choice to be with the others and cast him aside. Izaya himself is greedy and jealous. He doesn’t want to change even though he loves you, but it’s because he’s afraid. Izaya wants to always be on the outside looking in, but he’s starting to get dragged in because of you. Izaya can’t handle that. So with the day upon him, he assumed he would push things along a little quicker. However, you’re quite the surprising girl...

You turn your head away from him in thought. “I see.” You rise. “You won’t change. I can accept that. I shouldn’t suggest you do so just to please me. I’m sorry.”

Izaya looks up at you in shock. He never expected you to apologize. You grab your bag, gaze down at Izaya and continue.

“Izaya, you may be a pain in the neck, but I’m not going anywhere. I’ll keep trying. Even though it’s hard to balance my friends, I’ll keep going because it’s worth it. It’s worth getting to see you.”

Izaya is still staring at you as you bend down and kiss him on his head. As you pull away, you speak in a soft and heartbroken tone, “I love you, Izaya. Happy Birthday. I’ll see you later.”

As you turn to walk away, he replies, “I love you too...” Izaya knew you wouldn’t catch the deeper meaning behind his words, but he had to say it anyway.

You walk away, not looking back as you leave Izaya behind.